“The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make the story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.” Donald Miller
Let me get this out in the open from the get go: I never intended to write anything more than a check for a bill I needed to pay. This is my first attempt at connection with others with this social medium so please bare with the mistakes and my ignorance.
My intent in writing this blog and ones in the future are to express my thoughts, concerns and prayers for all of us and in particular keeping a wary eye on how our perception of ourselves dictates how we perceive our worthiness.
What is he talking about you say?
Do you let complements you receive go in one ear and out the other and one little criticism is the end of the world?
You do don’t you?
What would Adler say?
Alfred Alder a forgotten psychotherapist states:
“Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.”
When we have deep wounds spiritually, physically and emotionally we can carry these burdens and in so doing cloud our perception that we are really of value or importance.
So what do we do?
- You could do what Bradford Keeney suggests and picture yourself standing on a rug and imagine that my mind let go of all its worries and let the gravity pull all your worries into the rug (make sure you wiggle your toes). He suggests to stomp your feet to shake the worries loose and spill out into the rug. Then what?
- Bradford suggests to take the rug outside and shake it real hard to get rid of all the worries. When you’re sure all worries are gone roll up your neat and clean rug for the next time. Would that work for you?
In truth many are having a hard time just putting one foot in front of the other and feel somewhere deep down they believe they deserve their fate.
Another approach to counseling
Alfred Alder discusses three broad areas of the human experience that all of us must confront:
- Pursue a useful profession
- Fruitful human relationships
- Finding a role in love, marriage and family life.
Need a little help here Alfred – easy to list but how in the world do we implement?
Is this all there is to be happy?
Many of us are not trying to feel ecstatic but simply trying to figure out whatever “normal” is: trying for some to quit feeling miserable.
Is that you?
My hope in future blogs is an attempt to investigate what tools we need or coping strategies we could use to begin to create change.
Key I believe is to look at issues in our lives in a holistic manner. Holistic is to not rule out – out of the box at times changes in our thinking and what it takes to implement these changes.
For many of us the old ways of thinking have not worked.
Now, I don’t expect us to be dancing down the path of life anytime soon but I do believe there are maps we can learn to read and discover a new destination for our lives.
My hope as we gain a better understanding of ourselves we add to our perspective of others.
And so it goes.
Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC is a counselor at Mental Wellness Counseling in Traverse City, MI. He specializes in helping families dealing with complex family situations, addictions, and transitions. Steve is also helping clients through the Intensive Recover Program, which helps with recovery treatment, alcohol treatment, and other addictions treatment.