How do I get my spouse to stop using their smartphone

How do I get my spouse to stop using their smartphone?

Are our smartphones the new mistress?  In a number of ways, our brains don’t understand where our body ends and our phones begin. We see them as an extension of our personality, experience, and life. Staying up-to-date on Facebook, posting pictures, and having our businesses more streamlined, makes it difficult to know where we end …

how to handle trauma

A World of Hurt: How to handle trauma

Las Vegas, Puerto Rico, and by the time this article is published, another city will be on our list. We live in a world of hurt. What’s amazing about humans, is that when other people are hurting, attacked, and vulnerable, we feel something too. We cry thinking about others being shot at a country music …

Does my teen have a digital or internet addiction?

Our teens live in a world that is full of screens. It can sometimes be difficult to know what is normal for digital addiction, video game addiction, social media addiction, internet addiction and what is not screen addiction? Signs of Internet Addiction The Center for Internet Addiction published the following: Meeting 5 of the criteria …

Community Spotlight: Leelanau County Family Court

The Mental Wellness Counseling “Community Spotlight” series introduces key leaders in Grand Traverse County who work to enhance the community’s health and overall wellbeing. Whether it’s focusing on individual health or family dynamics, they are here to help! Ryan Douglass: Court counseling Ryan Douglass used to envision himself as a private practice family therapist—complete with …

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Confronting Success

It seems some people are able to find success like a dog sniffing out bacon, whereas success to others is like looking for your lost keys. In one situation, success and goal achievement is just following the scent and in another it is a haphazard and frustrating experience. When we hear “success” we often think …

Joe Sanok: An Ambitious Journey

The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Passion for Psychology When adults asked young Joe Sanok what he wanted to be when …

Anndrea Terry: Inspiring Balance

The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Survival of the Sickest As a 21-year-old undergrad, Anndrea Terry’s life was changed forever at …

Tarah Elhardan: Enhancing Women’s Wellness

The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do.  Q: What has been your most impactful work experience?  A: I worked on a crisis …

Lucy Seefried: Intimate Human Connections

The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Q: What influenced you to become a counselor? A: As an undergraduate, I studied abroad …

What to do after winning the lottery

What to Do After Winning the Lottery

Before we talk about what to do after winning the lottery, and what we can learn from it, let’s just talk about money. Money has the potential to really improve people’s lives. If you’re living in poverty and you can now buy food and not worry about getting by, that’s a big jump! Princeton University’s Woodrow …

5 Ways to Promote Mental Health Every Week

By Tarah K. Elhardan, MA, LPC, NCC Last week, as I was laying on my yoga mat in the beginning of a Friday evening yoga class, my instructor gracefully stated that “one is the union of the mind, body and consciousness.” As a mental health professional, this truly resonated with me and I thought about …

Consequences vs. Punishment PARENTING COUNSELING

Consequences vs. Punishment for Kids

By Jessica Kelley As a parent it’s easy to get discouraged from energy exhausted into trying to get an obstinate child to “mind” you. After multiple failed attempts for obedience, you can start to give up, and hence give in to your child’s demands, tantrums, and behavior issues. How does this affect the parent and …

HOW TO STOP RACING THOUGHTS BEFORE BED

How to stop a racing mind before bed

Before bed, our brains are preparing to work differently. The brain transitions from active awareness to filing. During sleep, our brain works to discard information that it determines is useless and stores information that is helpful. The evolving brain Over thousands of years of evolution, our brains have figured out that when we are in …

GIVE UP ON RESOLUTIONS

Give Up on New Year’s Resolutions

Download the Green Smoothie Infographic You want to lose weight, stop smoking, or save more for retirement. Every year we do this and every year, 92% of us fail at New Year’s Resolutions. A University of Scranton study found that only 8% of people will succeed in their resolutions. So maybe you should resolve to …

Help Your Clients Stop Self-Defeating Behaviors

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “All forms of self-defeating behavior are unseen and unconscious, which is why their existence is denied.” Vernon Howard What are Self-Defeating Behaviors?  In their book, Going Home: A Positive Emotional Guide for Promoting Life-Generating Behaviors (Honu Publications 2005), Drs. Gregory and Lori Boothroyd state that “self–defeating behaviors are any behavior or …

Self-Esteem: Set-Up for Success or Failure

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC   Many people go through life expecting the worst. Alfred Alder, the 19th century Austrian psychotherapist, stated: “Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.” But you can help your clients change their perceptions of themselves and the world and, as …

What Happens in Rehab and Recovery

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.” Anne Lamott. In the modern recovery world “rehab” can mean many things. To treat addictions a person can choose long-term (usually 90 days) and shorter-term (30 days to 2 weeks) in-house programs. Each type of program …

On Setting Boundaries

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “No” is a complete sentence.” Anne Lamott When I was working at an in-patient recovery center as a therapist, we would discuss boundaries in group. Many of the men in my group were between the ages of 18-30 and had issues relative to their addictive behaviors such as dual …

Coping with–and Reducing Stress, Anxiety and Worry

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC More often than not, when clients enter my office that are struggling with anxiety, they have immediate need for relief and long term plans to gain coping strategies. Numerous life situations have, in many cases, added up and created the environment for potential relapse back into old patterns for …

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Wisdom from “On Being a Therapist”

By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “Yet it is hard to tread water with someone on our back without drowning.”  -Jeffrey Kottler Jeffrey Kottler throughout his book “On Being a Therapist” sprinkles seeds of wisdom that will not only benefit the inexperienced therapist but the experienced therapist as well. Kottler states that many in today’s …

what is rehab

What is rehab?

What is rehab? By Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC First, let’s start with a great quote about recovery and addictions: “You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.” -Anne Lamott Like any journey, the road to sobriety and addictions recovery begins with simple steps forward. The specific steps of one’s addiction …

Dependency: Are We Enabling?

By Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “At the bottom of every person’s dependency, there is always pain, discovering the pain and healing it is an essential step in ending dependency.”  Chris Prentiss, The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Do you have a love one struggling with emotional/physical pain using an unhealthy dependency (alcohol, pornography, gambling, drugs legal …

Am I depressed?

Depression Common Types & Signs (From National Institute of Mental Health) Major Depression: severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes. Persistent depressive disorder—depressed mood that lasts for at least …

Cherry Festival Trash

Pure Michigan Litter: The Psychology of Trash

A number of photos have recently been circling the Facebook-Twittersphere about the trash at the Traverse City National Cherry Festival. As a counselor and psychologist, I’m interested in the human behavior behind the problem. I’ve traveled throughout Haiti, Nepal, Thailand, and much of South America. In those travels, I’ve observed how different cultures view trash. …

Microbes, Your Gut, and Your Brain | How new research is changing the face of anxiety

That phrase, “I just felt it in my gut,” might be true after all. Researchers are now finding that what we eat actually has a profound biological effect on our mood. It’s because we’re feeding a bunch of microbe in our body. They react to what we eat. In fact, they out number our cells …

why you should sleep more Traverse City counseling

Why you should sleep more | Better sleep = Better grades

9 ways to get better sleep Sleep is when our brains organize what has happened. Most adults need at least 7 hours of sleep. People/kids in school need 8-10 hours to appropriately categorize what they have learned. Less sleep = More anxiety/depression/academic failure Don’t have a TV in your bedroom, it stimulates your brain to …

Traverse City counseling family

Nine ways to get better sleep

9 ways to get better sleep Sleep is when our brains organize what has happened. Most adults need at least 7 hours of sleep. People/kids in school need 8-10 hours to appropriately categorize what they have learned. Less sleep = More anxiety/depression/academic failure Don’t have a TV in your bedroom, it stimulates your brain to …

How to get through the holidays

Step 001: know what you want and what makes you happy          Step 002: tell yourself that no matter what happens, you are going to do your best                          Step 003: prepare your family as best as you can.     Step 004: do your best to be happier, more helpful, and a better …

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Three things anyone can do to prevent suicide

    Appearing in the Record Eagle on 9-8-12 In 9th grade, the school counselor brought me and several other students into her office. She informed us that a peer had committed suicide. Later, the entire school was informed. It is devastating to get that type of news. Every 15 minutes another family, friend, and …

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Helicopter Parents Gone Wild

A “helicopter parent” is a parent who hovers over their child, waiting to catch them before they skin their knee. “Helicopter Parents” schedule, plan, and create a world for their children. They are usually highly involved and deep down want the best for their kids. They are often high achievers or wish they had been …

sex opposite gender friends counseling Traverse City counseling

Mental Wellness: Opposite-sex friends

Originally featured in the Record Eagle July 14, 2012. Available at: http://record-eagle.com/features/x748660390/Mental-Wellness-Opposite-sex-friends I have seen many a friendship and marriage fail because of opposite gender friends. What happens when you have a great opposite gender friend and you get married? What about friends that you make after marriage that are opposite of your gender? A marriage …

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Mental Wellness: More than beauty rest

Originally appeared in the Record Eagle, April 21, 2012 available at: http://record-eagle.com/bodysoul/x1350020161/Mental-Wellness-More-than-beauty-rest/print My grandma had a sleep mask. You know the kind that blocks out light? Hers was pink. I always thought it looked stupid. Then my wife gave me one last December, except mine is brown and black. When I got it, I thought, …

When an escalator is not just an escalator

  I was at a conference today in Traverse City and the facilitator showed this video. I absolutely love it. For one, it is funny. But It also makes several points that I think are worth noting. The facilitator discussed the mentalities that many of us have: Victim vs. Creator. When a stimulus happens and …

15 things I learned while in the hospital

            I haven’t told everyone, but I have told a lot of people, my daughter was recently in the hospital for a week. It was something fairly severe and we’re now in recovery mode. Here are some things that I wrote down the night that her surgery was over and …

Mental Wellness: Build time to slow down

            Originally published at http://record-eagle.com/features/x239062040/Mental-Wellness-Build-time-to-slow-down by Joseph R. Sanok I can’t slow down. I need this article more than anyone. I have a baby, house, job, private practice ” the list goes on and on. I bet your list is similar. There is always a reason why I can’t slow down. I …

Friends and Crisis: Dos and Don’ts

You never really appreciate a life of normality until crisis hits. Our family has been through a number of things lately: a death, a major medical issue, and close friends having their own crisis. It is amazing how it seems that high profile events bring out people’s true social skills. I learned through experience what …

Three Tips to Relax More as a Parent

How’s it going friend? I hope that your day is going fabulous! Also, thank you in advance for passing this on to one friend, I’m sure you know a parent that can grow with you, so thanks for helping your friends through this newsletter.  Today’s newsletter is going to be a shorter letter with a …

Four Parenting Tips

              Four Parenting Tips Parenting can be so complex, here are some quick tips to get you going: 1. Start observing: When you review your child’s behavior, what do you see, hear, and observe. What is your starting point? Once you establish the description of behavior, it will be easier …